Big hard northerner

6pm Saturday

I've got my first marathon coming up in a couple of weeks. I'm a little apprehensive to be honest; I've managed 4 half's and had the time of my life but if I'm truthful....I've struggled.
The idea of running double that distance is daunting.
Last week I managed a slow seventeen and a half...ish mile run with a few oww look a bush! pit stops. Wanted to do twenty. I just ran out of the will to keep going.
It was a stunning day, the plan was for me to go for a long run whilst Emma got ready. She would pick me up, I'd have a glaswegian shower (wet wipes,roll on deodorant and and a change of clothes) then we would go out for the day.
I would love to make out I was being all chivalrous and didn't want to make em to wait too long; truth was....I was fecked! Smegging hills!
27.9kms!! Not even close! Also a couple of hundred meters wandering around reading walking like I had had a trouser accident.
Next morning I woke up feeling utterly broken! Left hip flexer totally wrecked and achillies tendons too sore to put shoes on; great start to my summer t-shirt tan though!!
A week later I've struggled to do a couple of smaller run's and am now travelling up north to visit my parents.
Plan is to get up late, get Emma, my sister and mam chatting together and disappear for a epic adventure while they catch up. Hopefully they won't even notice I've gone until I ring and beg to be picked up, with carbs and fluids.
One small problem, the north east is a stunning place for a run, except I've turned into a "soft southern fairy" the hills and wind may very well kill me, or at least make me cry.
10am sunday

sun is shining, it's stunning outside; but I've slept funny. Took me half a pot of coffee and two neurofen to get the courage to have a shower.
12pm sunday

A little more windy but it's still stunning. Start off with a gentle walk to the "local" shop for red bull and emergency jelly babies. Finally I'm ready to get moving... Except I should do a little stretching and wait for the Red Bull to absorb a little. Ten mins later I've even more caffeine in my system, I've stretched and I've officially ran out of stalling tactics. Lucky the first couple of kms are all down hill into chesterle St. My hips are still tight but you could not get a easier way to loosen them up!

New shoes this week, lighter with less drop. Absolutely love them! Only problem is the caffeine has got me on overdrive and I'm struggling not to start sprinting.

I Hit Chester le street high St and turn left towards Birtley. A real run down memory lane! I'm in no rush today and really want to enjoy the experience. So it's selfie time!!!

Outside the swimming pool I used to play in as a child!
One of my first gyms (a real bear pit) bus stops,ect. I was getting some real funny looks. For a runner I'm big, still 100kgs most of It in my top half, bigger legs on a chicken! I'm almost 40 yet have a bright blond mohalk and am wearing indecent compression tights!! Hello frogie! Ive also picked a route right past every dodgy pub in the northeast. Luckily I'm wearing ear phones, I can't hear you lallalalalla!

Finally got to the geordie fairy (angel of the north) that last hill had to be two miles long. Time for more selfies!!! (a excuse to catch my breath) Ow poop I forgot to do my hair. Hahahahahahahah!

Starting to feel really good, it's down hill for as long as the eye can see. I feel fresh, feel alive! "Just keep swimming,just keep swimming"
Wow Gateshead has not changed since I was a kid!! More selfies!
I can see the Tyne bridge! As much as I love the place I live down south (Slough is great I don't care what you think lol) I still consider myself "home" when I see the bridge. Detour time!! I want a selfie with the Tyne bridge in the background. So it's over the high-level bridge, minimum of a dozen selfies with slightly different creepy smiles. I give up on trying to get a good one and do a couple with cross eye's, sticking out my tongue 😜 Cross over into Newcastle, quick watch check! 1 hour twenty, I'm feeling awesome having such a stunning run!!

Emma has been up half the night with mam and linz. The "All men are bastards talk". She needs more sleep mahahahahahahah #maniacal laugh. Really thoughtful considerate husband not wanting to wake her #wink wink!
Sod it I'm getting some selfies ON the tyne bridge and running back. 1000% taking Emma and the "girls" here tomorrow.
The lovely,amazing,stunning, tranquil down hill run was a tad more challenging on the way up.

I've done some great hill runs in race's. I've always managed to keep a good pace and managed to go fishing (over take people) I thought I was pretty good at hills. Wrong! Up north they never end! Mile after mile, head down trying desperately not to stop or fall flat on my arse or face! Slower slower slower..... I need a gel, really a excuse to stop and gasp desperately at the air hoping for my beating heart to calm, 180bpm!!!! Balls!19kms. 1hour 48! double balls!!! "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" Made it to lowfell, more pubs but this time I'm dying for a pint!!!
Would I go into a bear pit pub dressed in leggings that would make Julian clarie blush? hell yes! check the watch, 24kms balls balls balls balls balls!!!
On in to Birtley! Wooowho!!! Down hill!!! Just relax, take it easy! Damn I want a beer!!
Emma Text's "you still alive? I'm in tesco want anything? Or saving?" "I'm cool! @Birtley. Need cherry pepsi" see you tescos "

On the home stretch now! Now it's just a case of convincing myself I need to keep going! I'm tired but no I can keep going. I'm sore but not hurt. I no if I stop and stretch I can push the pace. I'm also a lot happier and more confident for my first marathon. Really want to push for 4 and a half hours.
It's Amazing how the mind wonders and the miles keep clocking up. 28kms and I've passed Emma twice! She's playing mother ship and has my pepsi!! That's a keeper Right there! One of a kind!
I got to chester le high Street and jumped straight in the car. Took me less then 10 seconds to chug. The first pepsi and double that time burping! A further 5 mins before I could make more then a grunting wheeze.
One hell of a run though!
Check out my 29.2 km Run on Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/548308160